8/9/2008
Point - Counterpoint (Revisited or Part Deux?)
So things can be cleared up within a week, not a raging case of herpes (right Taylor?), but at least a QB can be selected. In a struggle to make our site more relevant, and because we really like to show off our "writin skillz". We have decide to play round 2 of Point - Counterpoint because well...the Auburn Offense (ahem aside from four turnovers) sure looked a hell of a lot better. So without further adieu I bring back the three knuckleheads for their revised perspectives on thy Auburn Foosball.
War Eagle,
BK AU
Hey Southern Miss is pretty good.
By Pale Rider
It’s like this and like that and like this and uh…
It’s like this…
Then who gives a <frick> about those
So just chill, ‘til the next episode
As Michigan struggled to score double digits against a cupcake this weekend, the Auburn offense got out of the doldrums and scored 27 points against a decent team from a cupcake conference. Both teams are running the spread offense for the first time this year (the Peach Bowl win over Clemson doesn’t count, since Tony Franklin installed the new offense as the Tigers took the field for pre-game warm-ups.) Auburn proved it has the athletes to run the latest fad in college football while Michigan showed why the Big Televen is stereotyped as a conference that is still stuck in the Woody Hayes era; three things can happen when you throw the football and two of them are bad.
Like John McCain with a national convention bounce, Auburn showed signs of life not exhibited in the primaries (Louisiana-Monroe.) The analogies won’t get much better from here on out and we have a thousand more words, so you better drink up and laugh. Unfortunately, the trainers spread butter over the footballs during the week and everyone in the Tigers’ backfield had trouble holding onto the pigskin. In what should have been a blowout, the miscues kept Southern Miss thinking that they actually had a chance well into the second half. Fortunately, the run defense was nasty and held the Golden Eagles’ running game in check throughout the contest. The visitors’ version of the spread did produce two touchdowns in the second half, but they were never a threat.
But on to the debate at hand…
Was the offense all it has been cracked up to be? A seven headed hydra that will grow another seven heads for each that is cut off by its foes? A mystical being that can appear strike fear if its enemies even hear its name whispered? In a word, no. The passing game was much improved, the offensive line is awesome and the running game was acceptable. Southern Miss loaded up and dared the Tigers to run, which left the passing game open. Chris Todd performed well, gaining confidence with each completion and settling into a rhythm. The passing game was effective and opened up the run as the game went along, but the score at will behemoth that has been promised for the last nine months never materialized. Yes, better passes were thrown and receivers made catches, but there is still room for much improvement. For a guy who has been taught the Tony Franklin System © since Franklin kidnapped him as a young child and raised him as his own, he appears to be still learning the playbook.
Kodi Burns, still suffering from a gash on his leg and not much practice time, looked nervous and inept when he entered the game. He was allowed to attempt the ricochet play that Todd performed ineffectively in the first game, but he did not have enough velocity on the balls and threw it to the defender’s hands, not his chest, resulting in an interception. Still, he showed flashes of brilliance, throwing one pass that was very pretty, but unfortunately the receiver had run out of bounds. He also had a rushing touchdown on a play that even my mother knew was coming.
All told, the offense performed well enough against an overmatched opponent and will (hopefully) only improve from here. They must, if they are expected to compete for the SEC West crown this season. The next two games will tell the tale, as the Tigers line up against two of the teams that beat them last season. Both losses could probably be put squarely on the shoulders of the offense just as surely as Tom Cruise is to blame for Katie Holmes’ decision not to return to her role in The Dark Knight (you can argue otherwise, but no one believes you.) This season, Auburn has an opportunity to make a statement by beating Mississippi State and LSU early in the season. Sly Croom would love nothing better than to again play the spoiler to one (or both) of his home state major schools. The last time the Bulldogs played three games against Auburn and Alabama and was 3-0 the biggest game in town was the gladiators in Rome. I doubt the streak of wins for the guys from Starkville continues, but a little success early against the spread and the defense will be energized. Still, do we really think that Mississippi State will be able to score this Saturday? Hands? Didn’t think so.
The real test will come on the 20th, when LSU blows into town. After winning the national championship in the most unexplainable circumstances since Marisa Tomei walked away with an Oscar, LSU also has question marks this season. Still, they have talent and Les Miles at the helm. (Scratch that, they have talent.) Auburn must be effective early on offense and not allow the Cajuns to ever even think they can in this game. If the Tony Franklin System © can continue to make marked improvements, Auburn will win and people can start saying I told you so. Before anyone even starts with that, let me just say this. The passing offense was atrocious in the first game. Both quarterbacks looked like they were drawing up plays in the turf before each snap (rather remarkable since the team doesn’t huddle.) The receivers looked like catching a football was a foreign concept at times. These are the facts of the case and they are undisputed. One decent game does not wipe that from the record.
I will again be the first to admit that I hope I am wrong about the offense and they become a well oiled machine that lays waste to the rest of the conference for the remainder of the season. I want to see Kodi and Chris (or is it Todd? Those two first names screw up my simple mind) breakin’ D’s down like Evander Holyfield. I hope they are the shizzit. The defense and special team units that Auburn have this year deserve it, not to mention all the long suffering fans.
Cowbells and Fearing the Peace Sign
by: AuburnChopper1
This weekend is sure to bring a strange and interesting twist to the Auburn psyche in the shape and form of SEC Western implications versus Western power…ummm, well…. Mississippi State University. Face it, Auburn goes to Starkeville this weekend to take on one of the few teams in the SEC that can claim that they have beaten both teams from our great state. Croom looks to throw two fingers up to his home fans this weekend and walk out of Davis Wade Stadium the holder of 4 straight versus Alabama based competition.
This will be the focus of newly appointed starting quarterback Chris Todd and the Auburn football squad. After a spring and first game that did nothing to quiet the questions and firestorm surrounding the Auburn quarterback question, Todd separated himself from a very popular and heir apparent Kodi Burns by performing efficiently versus Southern Miss last Saturday.
The purpose of this “point-counterpoint” is to debate one’s position, and I find myself in the unique position of not having to change much from week one to week two. I’m also the one not working on justifying why I might still be right, even in the face of palpable improvement in last Saturday’s contest. Todd just looked better, and as expected, a similar game plan from Franklin got the job done.
It can be argued, and I’m sure it’ll be debated on our board, that Tuberville should take a real look at how he takes his foot off the gas pedal, but by in large, the total package stifled an opponent that had dominated their previous competition only days earlier. Execution, as it was last week, will continue to be the story. Any disappointment from my end stems from the fact that we are still looking for a complete game of execution and focus from not only our quarterbacks and receivers, but our running backs as well.
Last week against ULM, Auburn’s running backs ran for over 316 yards and took over for an offense that couldn’t get the ball moving through the air that day. This day, while the running backs shored it up later, came out looking like a group that was feeling a little unfocused and a over-confident from a performance a week ago. I look for our completely capable and talented running back corps to secure their focus and perform to their capabilities in Starkville, come Saturday.
So, let’s take a look at the major areas discussed last week, and grade my performance…
“Chop’s Take On Franklin” A
There’s no denying that Todd came in looking much more capable and confident coming in Saturday, and it’s Franklin doing that work behind the scenes during practice week. Todd AND Burns should continue to grow under his tutelage.
“Defense” B
I gave a lot of props last week. Pointed out great play by deserving players. I’m only giving the defense a B this week, because it looked like they got comfortable, when they really should have shut out a completely frustrated and anemic offense from Southern Miss. I think they’ll come out and want to make a statement during SEC play Saturday. Rhodes, in my estimation has done good work. Linebackers are directing play at the line, tackling well, and I’ll be damned if the defensive backs are even turning and looking for balls coming into their reach. It’s still early, but looking very good.
“The Outlook” B
Could have still been a little more consistent, but ultimately even with a very basic game plan, and better execution, we moved the ball very effectively. I said last week that the most improvement comes from week one to week two. It would be hard to argue that we didn’t see vast improvement. It won’t stop there only because it’s week three.
So, looking at things realistically, as long as Todd, and supporting cast, along with a stellar defense continue to perform either as they have, or better, we’ll be watching some great football in the coming weeks.
Till next week, let’s beat them Cowbell wearin’ Bulldogs, and War Damn Eagle!
I'm still not eating Crow...yet!
by: Kaos
Don’t you feel stupid now? See? You were worried for nothing. Do you usually take ketchup on your crow, or would you prefer some mustard?
One week after blasting Auburn’s passing offense for a dreadful performance against Louisiana Monroe, those were the type of comments to which I was treated when the Tiger passing game lurched out of a coma, sat up and said a few words against Southern Miss.
As much as I hate to borrow from the moronic buffoon Lee Corso, please allow me to interject a “not so fast my friend.”
While I may well end up eating a heaping helping of crow in the coming weeks, my overall impression of the patented Tony Franklin offensive system remains uneasy at best.
Yes, the Auburn passing game looked crisper against Southern Miss. It should have. A week prior, the Golden Eagles coughed up nearly 400 yards (131 through the air) to Louisiana Lafayette.
Here’s another tip for you. Golden Eagle coach Larry Fedora today said his bunch is preparing to face a “more polished and productive offense” this week. Southern Miss plays Arkansas State. What Fedora is saying is he expects a stronger offensive challenge from the Indians than he got from the Tigers. Ouch.
Auburn’s offense may well morph into a King Kongsian juggernaut that tramples the SEC like the mythic ape flattened the New York skyline. Maybe the point-a-minute promise is nothing more than the Loch Ness monster – rumored, talked about and eagerly anticipated but never actually seen except in grainy probably-faked photographs. Perhaps I’m just a tad too pessimistic, but at this early stage in the season I still see more Nessie than Kong.
So what’s wrong? What’s got my goat in an uproar?
First, I’m still not sold on Chris Todd as THE quarterback. There was very little doubt that Franklin desperately wanted his guy to be THE guy, but throughout spring and fall drills, he couldn’t distance himself from Kodi Burns. And now, all of a sudden, because Todd had, essentially, one moderately productive half the quarterback race is over. Burns is out because he came in on an injured wheel and tried to do too much with too little on one play. That’s what it basically boils down to. And to me that shows an incredible lack of decision-making ability on the part of Franklin. He refused to make a decision until he could somewhat justify the decision he wanted to make all along. Todd may turn out to be the guy, but a dink and dunk half against Southern Miss certainly isn’t any sort of real litmus test. His footwork wasn’t much better, he missed open receivers, his throws to the right were hideously bad and he floated enough air balls out in the flat that the cornerbacks at LSU went to check the SEC archives to see how many interceptions they’d need to break the record. Nine is the number, by the way.
Second, I’m still concerned with Franklin’s hubris. I don’t like running plays he knows won’t work just because he’s decided to run them and figures he can just run a different play later to make up for it. He clung to Todd like a drowning man to a life preserver. Instead of making a decision based on the facts and going forward, he waited until he could justify what he wanted in the first place.
Finally, I don’t see this offense as being the best complement to the tremendous defense Auburn puts on the field. Against a quality SEC defense, this isn’t the kind of offense that can give the Auburn defense the rest it needs. By the end of the Southern Miss game, Auburn’s defense was out of gas. Southern Miss knew it and exploited it. It’s easy to say the Tigers should have put 40 points on the board. It’s also easy to say the Tigers were a pair of interceptions from a Titanic-sized disaster. Those who say the game was never in doubt must have missed the fourth quarter when the Golden Eagles were storming up and down the field. The concern is that in tight games, this offense won’t have the tenacity to grind out the clock to preserve a win.
For those of you who think that I only see the glass half empty, let me leave you with this: I spent part of Saturday looking over Auburn’s two-deep roster. With a few small exceptions you’re already looking at next year’s team. If that doesn’t excite you, you’re not an Auburn fan.
What say you....Here
See Part 1... Here
Welcome
6/13/08
No sympathy for old men
By: Kevin Strickland
The old man with white hair sat on the side of the four lane highway. Despite being bald on top, he kept his hair long and it blew around his face in the midnight breeze. In his lap he held a handgun. Actually it was more of a hand cannon, the size of which would do Dirty Harry proud. In his left hand the old man held a single shell. At the sound of an approaching car, the old man picked up the hand cannon, flipped out the chamber and carefully placed the shell in one of the cylinders. With a flourish he spun the chamber and with a flip of the wrist, he snapped the weapon closed. Which cylinder held the shell? The old man didn't know. Not his problem. As the vehicle came into range, the old man raised his weapon and aimed. Eyes closed, he squeezed the trigger. Click. Sometimes he'd rip off several in succession. Click. Click. Click. Ocasionally he'd put the weapon to his own head just for a change of pace. Still no explosion. Although he'd been out in the night aiming and firing numerous times, his weapon had yet to discharge. Oh, he'd been arrested and cited for reckless endangerment before, but the old man could not resist the lure and eventually found himself back in the same situation, loading and unloading the weapon, taking the lives of himself and others into his hands. more
Heading Level 3
AU's List of Commitments (Thanks to Prowler for his Grillz Rankings)
QB
Raymond Cotton QB 6-4 216 4.7 Fort Meade, MD
(4 Grillz)
RB
Rodney Scott RB 5-9 185 4.4 Cross City, FL
(5 Grillz)
WR
Brandon Heavens ATH 5-10 165 4.43 Bessemer, AL
(4 Grillz)
LaDarius Perkins ATH 5-9 180 4.4 Greenville, MS
(3.5 Grillz)
LaVoyd James ATH 5-10 180 4.4 Williamson, AL
(3.5 Grillz)
TE
Philip Lutzenkirchen TE 6-4 245 4.73 Marietta, GA
(4 Grillz)
OL
Andre Harris OL 6-4 327 5.35 Hampton, GA
(3.5 Grillz)
OT
Aaron Moore 6'5 260 4.85 Bench 365 Squat 490 Centennial HS, Frisco, TX. (2 Grillz)
DE
Wilfred Journet DE 6-3 247 4.65 Wesson, MS
(4.5 Grillz)
DT
Nick Fairley DT 6-4 295 4.89 Wesson, MS
(4 Grillz)
Jamontay Pilson DT 6-3 265 4.9 Greenville, AL
(4 Grillz)
Terrence Coleman DT 6-1 244 4.8 Mobile, AL
(3.5 Grillz)
LB
Eltoro Freeman LB 5-11 218 4.5 Perkinston, MS
(5 Grillz...Possibly a 6th and a Pimp Cup)
Jonathan Evans LB 6-0 205 4.5 Prichard, AL
(3 Grillz)
Harris Gaston LB 6-2 210 4.6 Bessemer, AL
(3 Grillz)
DB
Travante Stallworth ATH 5-10 180 4.4 Leesville, LA
(3 Grillz)
Congratulations to the Auburn players drafted in the 2008 NFL Draft.
| Quentin Groves | DE | 2 | 21(52) | Jacksonville | |||||||
| Patrick Lee | CB | 2 | 29(60) | Green Bay | |||||||
| Pat Sims | DT | 3 | 14(77) | Cincinnati | |||||||
| Jonathan Wilhite | CB | 4 | 30(129) | New England | |||||||
| King Dunlap | OT | 7 | 23(230) | Philadelphia | |||||||
Incidently Alabama had 0 players drafted...Oh yeah and Shaun Alexander was released by the Seahawks.
Heading Level 3
...Saniflush
What I learned in Boston
During a recent trip to Boston I kept having the reoccurring thought that “I could never live here”. After having this thought countless times over the weekend I began to wonder on the flight back to God’s country, exactly what had brought me to this harsh conclusion? What I realized is that I had a list of things that if your desire is to live in or around Boston that you should/should not do.
1. If you walk into your hotel the afternoon of your arrival and find a line to check in, you SHOULD NOT ask the Guido standing in the back of it if “he is in line to check in or if he is guarding the luggage” that he is as equally close to. You more than likely will get a “f*ck you”. Apparently Guido’s in Boston have no sense of humor. (they also apparently don’t know what soap is)
2. Once you have checked into your room and settled in you SHOULD NOT mix a bourbon drink and walk down the sidewalk with it. The local popo seem to have a bug in their collective asses about open containers. Of course they seem to have no problem with all the beggars on the street hassling people who are walking by.
3. When drinking at an establishment with others you SHOULD NOT allow anyone to slip on the wet floor while getting up to go to the bathroom. If they have no choice but to slip they SHOULD NOT do it while the bartender is watching because instead of getting the wet floor cleaned up they will cut you off under the pretense of you being drunk.
3a. If said person in your party has been cut off you SHOULD NOT take it upon yourself to buy said person a drink after the bartenders tell you that if they see them drink any of it you will be told to leave.
3b. When said person in your party has been seen drinking someone else’s drink by the bartender and your party is asked to leave all under the guise of your party being drunk, you SHOULD follow them down the steps out onto the street as loudly as possible ensuring that the other patrons know what happened.
3c. If you are the bartender/bouncer who has done this, you SHOULD realize that once said party is on the street/sidewalk outside the establishment you have no legal right to hassle them and calling the cops will only make everyone in the bar realize that you are a dumbass who kicked out mostly sober people because of you inability to keep a clean dry floor.
3d. If you are the party who has been kicked out you SHOULD take 30 to 45 minutes out of your evening warning all other people who are about to enter that establishment what has happened. If you are the bartender/bouncer you SHOULD NOT try to forcefully remove said party from the sidewalk while the popo is watching. This will result in said party being asked if they want to “file assault charges”?
4. At the end of the evening you SHOULD walk by said bar on the way home and hang the bird at all bartending staff for at least 5 minutes.
5. When you awaken the following morning you SHOULD NOT plan on eating breakfast in the hotel. You will end up paying $40.00 and not even get any biscuits and gravy. Go for the Duncan Doughnuts a block away. (in Boston you are never more than a block away from a Duncan Doughnuts)
6. If you are looking for really hot women in Boston you SHOULD NOT.
7. If you are a native Bostonian and you have made fun of a visitor from the Southern area of the country you SHOULD NOT let that same Southerner see you passed out in the men’s room and not expect to later wake up smelling of puke and urine. (your puke – my urine) That’s right jackass. We don’t got no indoor plumbing in the South. That’s why I didn’t know to hit the toilet instead of your metro-sexual pants and shirt. On a side note…If your shirt is not tucked in it is just a f*cking blouse.
8. Just because some folks from Boston were the ones who chunked the king’s tea into the harbor, a Bostonian SHOULD NOT think that this great country was created solely by people from that area. Southerners have been at the forefront of every fight for rights this country has ever been involved in. We love to fight. It’s in our blood and heritage. Always remember that Southerners had been growing corn a number of years before the pilgrims made it across the pond.
9. In regards to sports, Bostonians SHOULD realize that when people talk badly about whatever professional sport they are currently obsessing over it’s not jealousy. We really just don’t care. If it’s not college football, it doesn’t count. Game over.
Heading Level 3
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