6/25/08
A Study in Contrast
By: Wes Fontaine
Al Gore’s intrawebs are afire with the news of the latest chapter in the saga that is the University of Alabama’s fight to escape oppressive legal rule. It seems that the boys in blue take a dim view of the efforts of the boys in crimson to horn in on Tony Montana’s turf. Jimmy Johns, running back-turned-linebacker for the Tide, has been arrested and charged with five counts of distributing cocaine (among various other, lesser, charges). Johns’ arrest brings the offseason total of arrests for the Tide to a nice, round 10. That’s 10 Bama players cuffed and stuffed under Nick “The Disciplinarian” Saban this year alone. In addition to Johns' career as a street-pharmacist, it seems he's determined to follow Mike Vick's sterling example: he raises and sells pit bulls. No kidding, just dial up www.jimmyjohnspitbulls.com on the old C-64 and be amazed. He has not, to date, been connected with dog fighting, but he's in the same zip code. Someone better versed in the Byzantine NCAA regs can tell me whether or not the side business (which clearly leans heavily on Johns' status as a member of the Alabama football team as a marketing tool) constitutes a violation or four.
I have only the most limited and superficial knowledge of the NCAA rules, but I'll take a stab at answering my own inquiry. A quick google search provided these seemingly applicable rules:
12.5.2.1 Advertisements and Promotions After Becoming a Student-Athlete.
After becoming a student-athlete, an individual shall not be eligible for participation in intercollegiate athletics if the individual:
(a) Accepts any remuneration for or permits the use of his or her name or picture to advertise, recommend or promote directly the sale or use of a commercial product or service of any kind; or
(b) Receives remuneration for endorsing a commercial product or service through the individual's use of such product or service.
12.4.4 Self-Employment. A student-athlete may establish his or her own business, provided the student-athlete's name, photograph, appearance or athletics reputation are not used to promote the business.(Adopted:12/12/06)
It would appear, to my under-educated eyes, that Johns has clearly forfeited his eligibility if the website is, in fact, authentic. The question remains: What liability, if any, does Bama have in this scenario?
Tide apologists (read: crimson-clad trailer dwellers) will howl that Johns is a Shula recruit to anyone bold enough to lay blame for Johns’ activities at the feet of his head coach and ostensible parent figure. Chew this like it is fine Skoal Wintergreen, my mesh-cap wearing neighbor: EVERY PLAYER ON THE BAMA ROSTER IS A DE FACTO SABAN RECRUIT. When St. Nick arrived at the Crap…er, Capstone…he was charged with evaluating the team and dismissing all non-hackers, among various other HC duties. Each player was reviewed and either dismissed or retained based upon whatever criteria Saban chose to employ. Thus, the players who remained on the roster following this evaluation period passed Saban’s muster and can rightfully be referred to as Saban’s recruits/players.
The message boards (obviously known for their veracity and strict journalistic standards) are burning with stories of Johns’ reputation as the Prince of Powder. It was, by these unverified accounts, well-known that Johns was the man to see if you wanted to stay up for three days or begin the Lindsay Lohan diet program. If these stories are to be believed, and I leave it to you, dear reader, to place whatever weight you choose on these tales, Saban was either willfully blind to his players’ off-field activities or he has had his head firmly planted in his colon for the past 18 months.
The win-at-all costs mentality that trickles down from the wealthiest booster, through Mal(function) Moore’s office and right into St. Nick’s office has reared its head again. The bad apples (cough…DJ Hall…cough) were retained because they were skilled players, necessary to Saban’s directive to win games, win now, and beat Auburn. Saban, to his very limited credit, has dismissed Johns from the team. That decision was hardly in Saban’s hands, however, since the University took the lead and dismissed Johns from school prior to Saban's "swift" justice. As he was no longer a student at UA, Johns could not possibly be a member of the football team. However, even if you overlook the fact that Saban's announcement of discipline was as impotent as Bob Dole, a blind, lead paint-munching, orangutan could see that the PR nightmare, as bad as it is now, would have been catastrophic had Johns merely served a perfunctory suspension (LaMonroe and DJ Hall, we’re looking at you!).
The turmoil and chaos in Tuscaloosa stands in stark contrast to the atmosphere across the state in Auburn: Tommy Tuberville has filled more than half of his ’09 class of recruits, the team is engaged in summer workouts and drills, and there has been nary a peep of legal incident for any player, coach or alum (shout-out to the Snake!). These are days of hard work and sacrifice for the men in orange and blue and these efforts will produce fruit on the playing field this autumn. Their counterparts in Tuscaloosa are engaged in some pre-season activities of their own, but the fruit borne of the crimson effort is destined to be rotten and suitable only as slop for the pigs.
Welcome
6/13/08
No sympathy for old men
The old man with white hair sat on the side of the four lane highway. Despite being bald on top, he kept his hair long and it blew around his face in the midnight breeze. In his lap he held a handgun. Actually it was more of a hand cannon, the size of which would do Dirty Harry proud. In his left hand the old man held a single shell. At the sound of an approaching car, the old man picked up the hand cannon, flipped out the chamber and carefully placed the shell in one of the cylinders. With a flourish he spun the chamber and with a flip of the wrist, he snapped the weapon closed. Which cylinder held the shell? The old man didn't know. Not his problem. As the vehicle came into range, the old man raised his weapon and aimed. Eyes closed, he squeezed the trigger. Click. Sometimes he'd rip off several in succession. Click. Click. Click. Ocasionally he'd put the weapon to his own head just for a change of pace. Still no explosion. Although he'd been out in the night aiming and firing numerous times, his weapon had yet to discharge. Oh, he'd been arrested and cited for reckless endangerment before, but the old man could not resist the lure and eventually found himself back in the same situation, loading and unloading the weapon, taking the lives of himself and others into his hands.
On Monday morning, Kenny Stabler’s disheveled visage stared fuzzily out of countless newspapers, websites and blogs. The Robertsdale police department snapped Stabler’s mug after the former Alabama and NFL quarterback was arrested and charged with reckless driving and driving under the influence. Stabler was pulled over after midnight Sunday and refused to take a breathalyzer test prior to his arrest. It was the third DUI charge since 1995 leveled against Stabler, who is currently employed as a color analyst for the Alabama football network. Stabler might as well have been sitting on the side of the road playing Russian Roulette with passing cars. The only difference was his weapon of choice.
Stabler disgraced himself, his family, his legacy and his employer with his behavior. But the biggest disgrace came in the response by Alabama administration, Tide fans and certain media outlets to Stabler’s arrest.
University of Alabama Athletic Director Mal Moore issued a Monday statement that read in part: "Kenny has always been supportive of Alabama athletics, and it's in times like these that his friends need to be supportive of him.”
Steve Gowan, an executive with Learfield Communications, the company that employs Stabler said:"Our thoughts are with Kenny and his family at this time. In circumstances of this nature, our primary concern is for Kenny's well-being."
Alabama head football coach Nick Saban chimed in with his support for Stabler calling him a "great ambassador for the university" and expressing his hope that the arrest wouldn't have an adverse effect on his career.
Countless callers to sports-talk radio shows offered their support for Stabler, issuing such insubstantial platitudes as “I went fishing with Kenny once, he seemed like a great guy. He deserves a chance” or “Who hasn’t had a drink or two and decided to drive?” Others made light of his arrest with “Free Kenny” jokes.
All of these responses are pathetic.
Stabler’s arrest is no laughing matter. His proclivity for drinking and driving makes him a menace to society. Would Moore offer the same support and concern had Stabler picked up a loaded gun and begun firing at random into a shopping center? Would Gowan be so concerned with Kenny’s well-being if the former Tide star lobbed grenades along the freeway? Would Nick Saban worry about the adverse impact on Kenny's career if he'd been playing Russian Roulette with Saban's family? Because, frankly, there’s very little difference. Gun, grenade or vehicle, Stabler had a deadly weapon under his impaired control. Chances are great that the three times Stabler has been cited in the past 13 years aren't the only times he was behind the wheel in no condition to drive, they are just the only times he was caught.
Maybe Moore never awoke to the news that someone he held dear had been slaughtered by a “great guy” who took people fishing but slipped up and got behind the wheel of a car while under the influence. Perhaps Gowan never suffered the soul-shattering trauma of having a family member ripped from his life by a drunk driver. Maybe Saban never had to identify the mangled remains of a child after a "great ambassador" mowed them down on the highway.
In 2006, there were 13,470 fatalities in crashes involving an alcohol-impaired driver with a blood-alcohol level of .08 or higher. 13,470 families were destroyed because somebody like Kenny was on the street. This nation is in an uproar over casualties in the Iraq War. By comparison, less than 5,000 soldiers have died in the conflict since 2003. Nearly three times that many were killed in 2006 alone by drivers like Kenny.
In 2006, 1,794 children age 14 and younger were killed in motor vehicle crashes. Of those, 306 occurred in alcohol-impaired driving crashes. Crashes caused by "great ambassadors" like Kenny.
Drinking has always been a part of Kenny’s good-old-boy legacy. His alcohol-fueled exploits at both Alabama and during his NFL career added to his legend. But after three DUI arrests, it’s just not funny or endearing any longer. When people like Moore, Saban and Gowan coddle Kenny and don't insist on penalties that will, at the very least, get his attention and keep him off the road they don't help the former Super Bowl quarterback. They simply enable him. “Great guys” and "great ambassadors" don’t knowingly and willingly endanger the lives of everyone they meet on the street.
Stabler deserves prayers. He deserves well-wishes and hopes that he will take control of his life. By the same token he also deserves to be treated like any other serial offender. It’s time for Stabler to face the full consequences of his actions. He doesn’t deserve excuses, justifications, protections or praise. This is one situation out of which the slippery former quarterback shouldn’t be allowed (or helped) to scramble.
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5/19/08
Time for Auburn duo to shine in Seattle
By: Kevin Strickland
If former Auburn receivers Courtney Taylor and Ben Obomanu were looking for a sign of encouragement from the Seattle Seahawks, eed look no further than April’s NFL draft. Despite the departure of one primary receiver and injuries to another, the team did not use any of its picks on a wide receiver during the seven-round event. That leaves former Auburn second-year player Taylor and third-year veteran Obomanu vying for significant playing time along with scout-teamers Jordan Kent and Logan Payne.
Taylor and Obomanu were part of a stellar recruiting class that also included Anthony Mix and Devin Aromashodu, all four of which have been on NFL rosters. During their careers at Auburn Taylor and Obomanu combined to catch 250 passes for 3411 yards. Taylor left the school as the all time career leader in pass receptions (153) and fourth in career yards with 2098. Obomanu was eighth all-time in catches and 13th in yards for his career. He was second all-time in touchdown catches with 18. The Seahawks took Obomanu in the seventh round of the 2006 draft. He spent his first season with the Hawks on the practice squad. A year later, Seattle selected Taylor, who had redshirted as a freshman at Auburn, in the sixth round re-uniting the two former Tigers. Both made the roster for the 2007 season.
Seattle had numerous options at wideout a year ago, giving both Taylor and Obomanu the opportunity to learn. That’s no longer the case. Veteran Bobby Engram will be back as will split end Nate Burleson. The rest of the picture isn’t as clear. Deion Branch, last year’s starting flanker is recovering from knee surgery and it’s questionable that he’ll be game-ready by the start of the season. Former starter D.J. Hackett signed with Carolina in the off-season. Last week’s mini-camp saw Taylor (five receptions last season) and Obomanu (12 catches a year ago) working with the first team along with Kent and Payne, both of whom were on the scout team a year ago.
"It's probably not the norm to be on the practice squad the year before and then be out there with the starters and have the opportunity that these guys have had," quarterback Matt Hasselbeck told The Seattle Times. "It's an open competition," Hasselbeck continued. "A great chance to make a name for yourself and get in on a good offense and maybe even catch some balls, be a contributor."
When Seattle let seven picks pass in the draft without selecting a receiver and then made no moves on the free-agent market, it was also a vote of confidence in Taylor, Obomanu and the young receiving corps.
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4/24/08
You know what I miss?
The occasion of my recent birthday got me to thinking about just how much things have changed in my lifetime. I was born before CDs, before cassettes, before even 8-tracks. Before Blu-Ray, before DVD, before even VHS. When we wanted to watch A Charlie Brown Christmas we had to wait for it to come on television the one time a year it was shown. I was born before cell phones. Before USA Today. Before email. Before the Internet. Before, even, home computers. I remember being shown a wall of whirring machines once that clicked and clacked and after a few short minutes spit out the value of Pi to 100 places. People cheered. That was the computer of my youth.
Yes, things have changed dramatically in my lifetime. The world, thanks to instant communication, is smaller. You can contact anyone, anytime anywhere. Choices are infinitely greater. But not all change is good. For all the gains, there many things that I miss. I am perfectly aware that many of the things I miss may directly contradict things I don’t but that’s one prerogative of getting older. I’m allowed to contradict myself.
I miss sandlot baseball. When was the last time you saw a group of kids get together and play ball just for the fun of it? As parents we’ve structured and litigated the game to the point of draining almost every drop of fun from it. We can’t have kids playing in the vacant lot because one might fall, scratch his knee and somebody will get sued. We can’t let them make up their own rules, we’ve got to have uniforms, hundreds of dollars of equipment and referees in place - for four year olds. When I watch little league games I often wonder who the games are really for, the kids or the parents. I think I know. And it saddens me.
I miss Andruw Jones in an Atlanta Braves uniform. I loathe free agency and gabillion dollar salaries that render teams virtually anonymous.
I don’t miss Barry Bonds or Roger Clemens. Both were great, but the game is better off without them.
I miss $1 gas. And 50-cent cokes.
I miss customer service. Whatever happened to service with a smile? The customer is not the enemy or a distraction. Get off your cell phone, quit carrying on with your friends and give the customer the attention he or she deserves. Get the order right.
I miss grace and class. Just because Tiger Woods is a tremendous golfer, that doesn’t give him the inalienable right to clutter up the course with f-bombs and blasphemy. Same goes for music. If you can’t sing the song without using profanities, don’t bother.
I miss innuendo. Frank, Elvis, the Beatles, and thousands of acts sang about sex, drugs and rock and roll. But they were clever enough to do so without assaulting the senses with vulgarities. I enjoy rap music of the old school variety. Dr. Dre is a true musical genius. But maybe, just maybe, it would have been just as good without the verbal barrage.
I miss seeing Lou Holtz on the sideline. No, not because I think he’s a great football coach or adds anything to the game, but because if he were on the sideline he wouldn’t be on ESPN spewing his insane babble week after week. Lou is the worst analyst in the history of television and that covers a lot of ground.
I miss celebrities doing their jobs and shutting up. I don’t care to hear Alicia Keys’ bizarre conspiracy theories. I don’t care about the politics of Dave Matthews, Sheryl Crow or Barbara Striesand. I have no interest in what the Dixie Chicks, Tina Fey or Alec Baldwin think of President Bush. Sing your song, do your show and shut it. The trend toward preaching instead of entertaining goes back to MASH, a really funny show in the beginning that became a weekly diatribe in the end.
I miss The Sopranos. Sunday nights haven’t been the same since what I consider to be one of the best series in episodic television abruptly signed off. I miss Dead Like Me, too. Dead was an intelligent, quirky, clever show that never got the acclaim it deserved.
I don’t miss the days before cell phones. It wasn’t that long ago, but it’s hard now to imagine having to look for a pay phone or not have that instant link. At the same time...
I miss the days before cell phones. Being reachable 24/7 has its drawbacks. It makes true relaxation a near impossibility. Maybe it’s just me, but I detest two things about the cell era: Bluetooth babblers and Beep-beep bandits. It’s incredibly annoying to be around someone yapping into their bluetooth device. It’s just not cool. But the worst are the walkie-talkie beep-beeps. I don’t care to hear your entire loud conversation, particularly in a restaurant or at a game or some other public place. Not cool at all. Was at a cabin on a lake recently. Sitting on the pier, watching ducks land on the water as the sun broke above a stand of pines. Utter relaxation. And out of nowhere: “Beep-beep. Hey Sam, you put the bait in the freezer? Beep-beep. Yeah. It’s in there since last night. Beep-Beep. Ok. I’m comin’ down later. Beep-Beep.” Ruined the moment. I’d like to beep-beep that phone.
I miss tearaway jerseys. Watching Joe Cribbs run completely out of his jersey was an awesome sight.
I miss Auburn’s orange facemasks.
I miss the Oakland Raiders being fearsome. The Silver and Black used to be a force in the NFL. Now the Raiders are just a farce. It’s a shame.
I don’t miss the revisionist history regarding Archie Manning every time Ole Miss played a football game. Ole Arch was on screen almost as much as his son Eli when the baby Manning quarterbacked the Rebels. Archie was a decent player but was outperformed head to head by a number of SEC QBs including Scott Hunter and Pat Sullivan. He was ineffective in the NFL. His sons are better.
I miss knowing what Bo knows, although Bo probably still knows but just doesn’t tell these days.
I don’t miss dodo birds. I don’t know why, but it’s never bothered me that they are extinct.
I miss Quisp cereal. Or until Sunday I thought I did. And then I found boxes of the little alien saucers on the shelves at Dollar General. Now I’ve got to try some to see if I really miss it or not.
I miss songs from the 80s that had no meaning. Da-doo-doo-doo. What is that? I also miss the Miami Vice cool of the 80s wardrobe, although I did see a white linen jacket on the rack the other day. Get me a pastel t-shirt and I’m in.
I miss movies that aren’t remakes and tell a good story.
I miss my hair.
Although there are things I miss (and don’t miss) I can’t complain. Two beautiful and talented daughters, a beautiful, loving and supportive wife, friends, family, health. I’ve been blessed. Couldn’t ask for anything more. Except maybe being able to fit into those 80s era Miami Vice clothes again.