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Point - Counterpoint

 

Were going to play a little game called Point -Counterpoint. Since the Auburn opener this weekend many fans have had mixed emotions regarding the implementation of the new offense, some fans enjoyed the outcome, leaving others to question the choice of the spread and thus Tony Franklin. I decided to challange three members of Tigers X to a duel of sorts. Originally it was only supposed to be two members, but I had a whiny Major complain and so I obliged (trust me you don't want a whiny Major upset). In order to keep the balance the format will be dislike of spread-counterpoint-and then dislike of the spread yet again. After you are done reading I am going to put up a ballot in the forum please stop by and voice your opinion. Hope you enjoy and kudos to the writers all three are well written.

 

War Eagle,

BK AU

 

Spread?...more like whipped.

By Pale Rider

With one week of major college football under our belts now, a few things are evident. The defenses of the SEC are no joke, Tommy Bowden is an idiot, the ACC should not get an automatic BCS Bowl bid this year and Auburn needs to find a passing game quickly.  Despite a 34-0 shutout of the mighty Warhawks of Louisiana-Monroe, there are rumblings from east central Alabama this week.  Auburn’s quarterbacks were a combined 13 for 27 for 85 yards.  Let me repeat that, 13 for 27 for 85 yards.  (Pause for dramatic effect.)

That is correct.  A passing percentage of less than fifty percent and a yards per attempt average of just over 3.1 and a yards per completion of 6.5.  Stunning.  On the bright side of this Harvey Dent offense, the running backs had 46 attempts for 321 yards and a 7.0 yards per carry. 

Yes, you read it correctly, the yards per rushing attempt was a half yard better than the yards per pass completion, which means that if Auburn was facing third and 7 Saturday night, they had a better chance of converting by running the football than passing.  That could explain why the 3rd down conversion rate was a dismal 33%.  That’ll get you a billion dollar contract with the Braves and get your ass fired as a major college offensive coordinator.  Fortunately, a person’s performance is not judged entirely on one game or Tony Franklin would be able to put his name back onto his patented system and shill books and DVDs all over the Southeast to high schools and Rotary Clubs.  However, they probably wouldn’t sell many in the Greater Lee County Metro Area. 
Hold on just a doggone minute, you say?  Your team won the game, in a shutout, with over 400 yards of offense and you are complaining?  Didn’t you see how the defense played?  (Great, after a few drives to nowhere by the La-Mon offense in the first quarter.)  Special teams?  (Solid, not many teams have two all-SEC caliber punters on their team.)  Rushing game?  (Impressive, especially since the La-Mon defense didn’t have to worry about the pass.)  You’re just a bad fan, you say.  You can’t be happy. 

You’re correct.  I can’t be happy when I see glaring weaknesses that have apparently not been addressed despite their possibly costing Auburn a trip to Atlanta last year for a shot at the SEC championship.  Unless someone had knocked me over the head, stuffed me into the trunk of a DeLorean equipped with a flux capacitor and transported me back to 1983, I like a little air attack with my game plan.  Randy Campbell was not threat to beat you with his arm, but he wasn’t going to get you beat either.   Plus, he had three future NFL running backs in the backfield.  So, unless Ben Tate is really Bo Jackson, Jr., I’d enjoy seeing the ball sail through the air once in a while and have a decent shot of being caught by a player in a blue jersey.  At one point in his career, Campbell went about 158 games without throwing an interception (Chris Todd didn’t make it through his debut without throwing a pick.)  Of course, he threw a total of three passes in those contests.  But when you average 675 yards a game on the ground, you don’t have to throw it much.  Auburn ran for 325 in spite of itself Saturday night.  The spread is (we’ve been told) designed to get the ball in the hands of the playmakers.  Do we not have any playmakers at wide receiver?  Are our running backs our best playmakers?  Were our best playmakers (on some plays) standing on the sidelines or somehow rendered invisible by some mystical device straight out of Harry Potter?  And if they were, why were they made invisible to Chris Todd and not the defense?  That would seem to be a lot more effective.   

It has been written (because I read it many times on al.com over the course of the summer) that the spread offense that Tony Franklin teaches is easy to learn.  Apparently, the gross mechanics of the spread offense are a heck of a lot easier to learn than the finer points.  Franklin blew into Auburn late last year and installed the basics of the offense while meeting with Brandon Cox, Kodi Burns and Mario Fannin over a tray of nachos at Momma G’s.  It worked brilliantly in the Peach Bowl (yes, I know it’s not called that anymore, but I hate corporate bowl names and I am writing this, so shut up.)  It produced the highest offensive output of the season, despite having only been practiced in the parking lot of the Georgia Dome the night before and being executed partially by a QB that was running around with only a leg and a half and severe case of dandruff.  Let’s all admit it, Brandon Cox is not exactly Pat White.  (It’s not racist, it’s a fact.)  This did nothing but raise expectations to an unhealthy level. 
Somewhere between the Georgia Dome and the opening kickoff of the season, something was thrown into the game plan that confused a few people.   Apparently, there is a play that involves bouncing a football off of a defensive back’s chest into the hands of an offensive player.  Chris Todd has the first part of this play down pat and it is now just up to the wide receivers to be in the right place at the right time.  There was general confusion and mayhem whenever an Auburn QB dropped back to pass, almost as if it was a foreign concept within the architecture of the spread offense. 

It also been written (again, many times, summer, al.com) how the spread picks up the tempo of the game and the offense that runs it will be able to snap the ball roughly 600 times a quarter.  While only running 90 plays in the Peach Bowl, this was a huge improvement over the rest of the 2007 season for Auburn.  However, the number of offensive snaps fell back to 73 on Saturday night.  One reason for this is that when you don’t make third and somethings into first and tens, they make you give the ball back to the other team.  Have I mentioned that we had a low percentage of third down conversions yet?  Good.  Just checking.   

Throughout the preseason, there had been much damage control in the media that Auburn’s running backs would still be featured players in the game plan.  Not only were they featured players Saturday night, they were the essence of cool while their quarterback and receiver counterparts were freaking out like Kramer and George on a very convoluted episode of Seinfeld.  Obviously, this is because it is a much easier task to be the guy that runs with the football.  Not many decisions to make, simply head generally in the right direction and let the God-given ability take over.  Not like quarterback, where rumor has it that in this new fangled offense you have to check through a total of 17 receivers before you decide to try the ole ricochet play.  Kodi Burns looked a little more poised than Chris Todd.  By poised, I mean he didn’t look like a deer in the headlights (or something else as equally confused, but much less gay) every time he felt a little pressure.  His passes looked better than Todd’s, even if fewer were caught.  However, since he has not perfected the tip drill pass, he’s relegated to sharing time with Todd, who we have been told has been tutored by Tony Franklin since birth to run the spread.  In fact, it is rumored that Franklin used Todd’s mother’s belly as a chalkboard while Chris was in the womb.  (Is anyone else a little disturbed by the man’s two first names?  I was confused writing this and I can only imagine how the gentle reader must feel by this point.  Oh, who am I kidding, no one has made it this far and I can pretty much say whatever I want and no one will ever know the difference.  Howard Mount is a poopie head and about as useful as a turd flavored lollipop.  Let’s see if anyone catches it.)       

Some people will tell you that Auburn used a low fat, reduced calorie, diluted offensive attack on Saturday night.  In fact, one person pointed out that he counted only ten plays that the offense ran on Saturday.  That is all well and good, but I would expect those ten plays to be run with such crisp precision that they looked as well choreographed as the Laker Girls or a Prussian drill team.  I realize that neither the Laker Girls nor the Prussians had people running through their formations trying to disrupt them in their execution of their routines, but let’s be serious.  It was La-Monroe, who, despite the fact they like to dress up as a D-1 football team on Halloween, play in the Sun Belt Conference.  Can anyone else name another team in the Sun Belt besides Troy?  Quick.  Time’s up.  Me neither.  But back to the topic sentence of this paragraph (sorry to go all Third Grade English lesson on you for a moment), the supposed time honored ploy of “not tipping your hand against non-conference games that don’t really mean anything unless you want to play for the national championship from time to time and then you better win them”.  If you are running the simplest plays you have, they should be the simplest ones to execute against an overmatched opponent.  If you cannot get the basics down against a team that has beaten precious few schools that the casual college football fan could even identify, how are you supposed to make the rebound play work against LSU?  And if one of your ten simplest plays involves using the other team’s players to deflect the ball to your player, what do the more complicated plays involve?  I have to think that the officials, Aubie and/or cheerleaders are somehow involved, but I am not sure how.

Don’t panic, you say?  We’ll be ok, you say?  Sorry, my views of how things will all work out in the end concerning this subject are jaded.  I’ve seen too many times where things did not work out in the end for Auburn football.  Right now, I am a glass half empty type of person concerning this issue, despite the fact that in most things, I am completely on the side of optimism.

I hear you when you say that the biggest improvement comes between the first and second games and all those other coaching clichés that sound great and are as useless to me as a coupon for McDonald’s right now (I am in Iraq for anyone who doesn’t know.  I hate having to explain things, but felt it necessary at this point for that last sentence to make any sense.  It was either that or have people assume that I am some fat ass that has been advised by his doctor not to eat at McDonald’s because he might keel over at any moment from the fat clogging up his arteries.   As far as the Iraq thing goes, don’t feel sorry for me, please.  I have a job that involves me not getting shot at on a regular basis, so I got that going for me.  I am also making decent coin and live in a trailer with my own bathroom, internet connection and cable TV.  But I digress.)  I’m from Missouri, Show Me.  Actually, I am not from Missouri, but I needed a counter cliché at this point and that one fit the best, even if it was borderline retarded.   

There were flashes of brilliance on Saturday night.  As I mentioned, Kodi Burns throws a pretty, pretty ball and had one play that was probably a TD on most nights ruled otherwise on Saturday.  The receivers dropped a few balls, so they have some work to do.  Nothing a little Stick‘um can’t solve.  (Yes, I know it is illegal.  So is speeding on I-85, but people do it every day.)  Burns has the ability to avoid the rush.  (If you are still wondering who I am endorsing for the starter’s position for the game against Southern Miss, please go back and read the second and fifth sentences of the paragraph.)  And for the record, I hope that the game on Saturday night was an aberration, an anomaly, a blip on the radar, a wrinkle in time, a burp of the space time continuum, growing pains, a good learning experience and all those other things that people say to make it sound like the passing game was something other than horrid for those particular 60 minutes.  I hope that the quarterbacks and receivers get that darn ricochet play down and we run it for a couple of touchdowns on Saturday.  But to gloss over what happened on Saturday night and just say “It’s all good” is folly. 

We’ve heard how explosive the offense can be.  We’ve also heard that Alabama was back before and we all know how that worked out.  I’ll reserve judgment on the spread as a whole until we are at least halfway through the season.  Saturday night, the passing aspect (the facet that you will recall was lacking from the offensive attack last year and thus was the impetus that forced Al Borges out and Tony Franklin in) was about as existent as Bigfoot.  In other words, we’ve heard rumors, but we’ve not be presented with any solid evidence yet, just what appears to be another front man for a carnival sideshow hawking his creature.  I am tired of being fooled by a Sasquatch costume and a bag of deer guts frozen into a block of ice.  I want to see football flying through the air (and being caught.)  I want to see crisp execution of a pass play.  I want to see a good fade throw and catch.  I want to see the monster offense rip through the SEC this year, tearing off the heads of opposing defensive coordinators and tossing them into the stands.  Until then, excuse my skepticism.  It’s all just so much hype and in the immortal words of Public Enemy, don’t believe it.  If Flava Flav said it, it must be true.

 

Opening Weekend Thoughts

by: AuburnChopper1


Labor Day welcomed Hurricane Gustav to the East Coast, and while many expected it to be the next heavy weight boxer like Hurricane Katrina, it came in, delivered a heavy body blow, then danced off to the other corner of the ring.  While dangerous and damaging, it leaves a lot of people wondering if “that was it?”.  Kind of like Auburn’s much anticipated spread offense by newly appointed Offensive Coordinator, Tony Franklin in Saturday’s home opener vs. ULM.

The performance, while positive in a lot of regards, left a large number of Auburn alumni, fans and supporters feeling a little uneasy after the obvious absence of any passing consistency.  Coming into the game, the quarterback’s Chris Todd, and Auburn veteran Kodi Burns competed neck and neck and took it to the first series, not knowing who would be the anointed starter.  Whether this had anything to do with the passing issues witnessed Saturday, we’ll just have to wait and see, but for the battle waged through the spring, there was no sign of that high power battle taken to the field Saturday night.

Chop’s Take On Franklin

Tony Franklin comes to Auburn this season with high expectations and a new system.  The Tony Franklin System Seminar has been taught to coaches, and written about in books for years.  He’s taken a school like Kentucky, and sent three Wildcat quarterbacks to the NFL.  Tim Couch was selected as the first round pick in 1999.  After the Wildcats changed Head coach, he wrote a book saying what was on his mind, and didn’t coach again until Larry Blakeny hired him to serve as offensive coordinator at Troy University.  In his first season at Troy, Franklin turned Troy’s stuttering offense from the last placed offensive unit in the Sun Belt Conference prior to his arrival, to leading the league in passing and ranking second in overall offense. Troy won their first conference title as well as the school's first bowl win in the New Orleans Bowl last season.  Prior to Franklin's arrival, Troy hadn't ranked better than 109th nationally in total offense in the previous four seasons in Division 1.  In 2007, the Trojans ranked 16th nationally in total offense (453 yards per game) and 25th nationally in scoring offense (34 points per game), helping the team win back-to-back Sun Belt Conference titles.

After nine days of practice (and only 10 days on the job period), Franklin installed enough of his system to lead Auburn to a victory vs. Clemson in the 2007 Chic-fil-A bowl.  It was Auburn’s highest offensive output of the season, accumulating over 430 yards of total offense.  Note: Auburn ranked 101st nationally before that game in total offense.

To judge Tony Franklin on a poor game by a first game quarterback, and game plan that was clearly limited, yet produced over 400 yards and a thirty four point win, is not only silly, but smacks of panic.   Tony Franklin, has not only proven everywhere he’s been that he can get it done, but get it done in dramatic fashion.  I for one, am willing to let the man do his work, unshaven, or not.

Auburn 34    ULM 0  (Goose Egg.  Nada.  Nothing.  Zero.)

So many people focus on the lack of passing output from QB’s Todd and Burns, that they dismissed the 316 yards produced on the ground by veterans Brad Lester, Ben Tate, Mario Fannin and newcomer, Eric Smith.  After questions rose by running back recruits and old school “Running Back U.” fans, the backs took over and laid tracks through, around and often over the Louisiana-Monroe defense.   The fact of the matter is, is that with that much success on the ground, and with Burns hurt in the locker room for the entire second half (cut leg that required stitches), a shift was available, effective, and executed.  Under past coordinators, the offense would have continued stubbornly under the same failing plan leading to problems in the end.  Ultimately we won the game convincingly.

Once things settled down, quarterback Chris Todd managed a fourth quarter drive in which he was 4-4, to three different receivers, and ended in a touchdown pass to Chris Slaughter.

As we’ve heard from the coaching staff, the two quarterback system may not have worked as planned, and with the talent and evaluating going on in that regards, it could change.  The good thing is, is that both QB’s are capable of running the offense effectively.  I think some stabilization of the QB position, rotation wise, will shore up some of the confusion seen Saturday.

Lost in all of this, was the outstanding play by a very young and newly coordinated defense.  Paul Rhodes entered the season this year, after leaving Pitt, to pitch a shut-out in his first offering to the Auburn masses.  They were pleased.

A young secondary smattered with young first time players, played confidently, and learned as they went along, leaving bodies on the ground in their wake.  Neiko Thorpe, played very well, and then seemed to put an emphatic stamp on his spot in the rotation, by leveling a ULM wide receiver late in the fourth quarter.

Bottom line on the game is, that with one more score through the air, and I believe a lot of what’s been said this weekend so far goes away.  A little more focus and sharpness on the part of our receivers, I believe that could have easily been achieved Saturday.

This next week brings in an up and coming Southern Miss squad under first year coach Larry Fedora.  USM beat Louisiana-Lafayette 51-21 Saturday, and looks to bring their intense offense to Jordan-Hare this weekend.   I’m sure Rhodes and the Auburn Defense will welcome the challenge.

I also believe you’ll see a few wrinkles in the offensive play calling that gets the Auburn faithful (and not so faithful at times) back in the groove and on board.

The Outlook

I look for Auburn to continue to grow as things move forward.  The defense set the bar high early, and I see no reason to believe that would change for any reason.  I only see new players growing in confidence and getting their feet wet in the first few weeks.

The offense will get their act together, with the simple idea that there are many options for quarterback and game plans.  It’s been said that the most improvement happens between week one and week two.   Let’s see where thing sit after the busses full of Golden Eagles bound for Hattiesburg, MS are gone.

Till then, War Damn Eagle my friends!

Tony Franklin or Disheveled Mess?

by: Kaos


Shakers shook. Fans cheered. Toilet paper was thrown.  Parties were held. The Auburn Tigers shut out the University of Louisiana – Monroe, a team that punked rival Alabama on Homecoming a year ago, and did it in convincing fashion on the scoreboard 34-0. So why not celebrate a season-opening win and a 1-0 record?  Why not revel in the success?

Imagine you’re sitting on a sunny beach on the Gulf of Mexico.  The waves are lapping softly at the shore. The sky is a brilliant blue with an occasional stark white cloud floating lazily overhead.  Yes, you’ve got the radio on. And yes, they are talking incessantly about a Category 5 hurricane spinning angrily in the gulf.  But why worry, Alfred E. Neumann? There’s no need to take shelter. No need to batten down the hatches. Can’t they see how beautiful the sky is?  Why not enjoy the day?

That’s the same scenario that played out for the Tigers under the lights at Jordan-Hare Stadium on Saturday night. Auburn won a game it should have won. Skies were figuratively sunny. Auburn fans have a right to be happy. But a storm may be brewing. Objective analysis indicates some ill winds that bear watching. Buried in the feel-good soil of a 34-0 win were the seeds of a potential disaster. In Auburn's win lurked the ill winds of an offensive breakdown that could wreck the hopes and dreams of the season to come.

Auburn’s highly anticipated spread offense was a complete and total bust. The passing game brought new meaning to the word pathetic as co-starters Kodi Burns and Chris Todd failed to ignite a single drive. The duo combined for a total of 85 passing yards in what was supposed to be a coming out party. The offensive failure was so abject that any pretense of passing was abandoned and Auburn did what Auburn has always done – pounded the ball on the ground and simply wore the opposition out. It was the only thing that worked.

So what happened to Auburn’s much touted offensive system and its ‘mad genius’ offensive coordinator Tony Franklin? Where was the promised balance, the involvement of the receiving corps? So many things went wrong. In a first game, there are bound to be miscues. Those things are going to happen. Offenses (and defenses) are going to have bad series and bad games. But we're not talking about a mis-timed play or two or a momentary indecision. What transpired Saturday was a pervasive pattern of ineffectiveness. But it wasn’t so much the offensive ineptitude that was alarming as it was the way in which things played out over the course of the off-season and carried right on through the game. It was these glaring issues that should have all Auburn fans concerned. 

The inability to make a decision:
From Franklin came the hand-wringing over who should be the starting quarterback, Burns or Todd. Auburn has been down this road before. Who could ever forget the NallsMinger Campbell/Cobb disaster? The constant back and forth and inability to name either Burns or Todd as the clear number one has stunted the development of both quarterbacks. It was obvious to even the most casual observer that Burns has the better tools. He would have benefitted from the attention and repetition a true number one quarterback gets over the summer and in spring and fall drills. It’s a concern that Franklin either couldn’t or wouldn’t see that.

From the quarterbacks came the inability to take a chance. Auburn attempted fewer than a half-dozen throws down field.  No slants, no sideline routes. Todd, in particular, held on to the ball so long in the pocket that he used up an entire year of eligibility on one play. That indecision stems directly from Franklin’s inability or refusal to make a decision. Because he doesn’t have the guts/stones/intelligence to make a decision, his quarterbacks are also indecisive. In the SEC, indecision will get you slaughtered.

Fundamentals:
Both Todd and Burns displayed an incredible lack of basic fundamentals in the passing game. Their steps were not precise. For an offense that relies on timing, you should be able to easily tell the difference between a three- and a five-step drop.  Not so. Footwork was atrocious. Timing was bad. Progressions were haphazard. This could be attributed to the failure to select a starter, denying both the opportunity to get extra work and scrutiny.  The bigger issue is that fundamental flaws aren’t something that can be rectified in a week of practice. This is something that should have been addressed over the summer. It will likely be next summer before any true adjustments can be made. This could be a fatal lapse on the part of Franklin.

Public persona:
Frankin is a blowhard. He’s arrogant. He talks a good game. But he’s never truly walked it. The hype over “his” offense and “his” system was a concern all off-season.  He babbled about what he did at Troy and appeared to have no real grasp on what football in the SEC would be like. To many it seemed as if the more the public/media clamored to know who the starter would be, the more he dug in his heels and refused – and maybe for the wrong reasons. His post-game comments seem to indicate that he might be in over his head, and even more disconcerting it seems that his own hubris will prevent him from seeing things clearly enough to make the necessary changes.  “I screwed up” is not a satisfactory answer. “I knew better and did it anyway” does not lend confidence.  My personal opinion is that Franklin needs to get off the sidelines and into the booth so that he can make rational and carefully considered decisions, rather than slobbing up and down the sidelines and reacting out of emotion. Franklin seems very much out of place and ill-prepared for the offensive chess matches that will come down the road. 

The excuses:
More than one person has attempted to defuse the brewing catastrophe by pointing out that new systems tend to struggle initially. And this might be the case, but the struggles shown by Auburn’s offense go well beyond any “rust” justification.  Look at Southern Miss, Auburn’s Saturday opponent. New coach Larry Fedora brought a new spread-based system to the Golden Eagles.  They absolutely obliterated Louisiana Lafayette (the approximate equivalent of ULM to Auburn) and in doing so rolled up more than 600 yards. A quarterback who’d been modestly effective last season threw for more than 200 yards and two scores. The rushing attack netted two backs over 100 yards, including one who topped 200. That’s the way a new offense is supposed to debut against an inferior opponent.

Others claimed that Auburn was purposely being coy and not tipping its offensive hand. Good try. But if that were the case and the playbook had actually been stripped down, why were the plays that were run so ragged and disorganized? If you’re only going to run a few plays, shouldn’t those plays be well designed and crisply executed? There wasn’t a single thing crisp or precise about any of the plays run on offense and that includes the successful running plays.  It’s been said that an offense will take on the personality of its coordinator and that certainly seems to be the case – emotional, undisciplined, disorganized and sloppy. Again, those are not things that can be fixed in a week’s time. And that’s the concern.

Yes, Auburn won. But for the last two seasons we’ve watched Auburn’s offense struggle. We’ve heard the weekly “we’re gonna get that fixed”  and “we were running a vanilla” playbook.  We’ve chalked it up to Brandon Cox’s injured leg, to disinterest in playing inferior teams, to the complexity of Al Borges’ offense, to the weather.  Franklin was brought in with the promise of an end to those rationalizations. Auburn’s defense over the last five years has been good enough to win the SEC every season – and more in some. But for most of that time, the Tigers haven’t had the offensive firepower to complement that defensive mastery. That was supposed to change in 2008. Yet here we are after one week still talking about offensive futility and making the same excuses and promises.

Yes, it’s early. Things can and should improve. But the problem with this offensive debut is that there appears to be a tremendous amount of work that still remains. Auburn looked hesitant, uninspired, frenetic, sloppy, undisciplined, ineffective and fundamentally unsound on offense. They shouldn’t be this far away at this stage of the game. And that’s the core issue. Auburn wasn’t a play or two off, what transpired on Saturday looked more like a total breakdown in every aspect of the offensive game. There was nothing in that debut that indicated a tweak or two could correct it. No, that offense appeared to be in need of a major overhaul.

Enjoy the win. But keep an eye on the hurricane brewing. Hopefully it will fizzle and sunny days will reign. Weathermen aren’t always right. This time I hope they’re wrong.

 

What say you....Vote Here

 

 

 

6/13/08

 

No sympathy for old men

By: Kevin Strickland


The old man with white hair sat on the side of the four lane highway. Despite being bald on top, he kept his hair long and it blew around his face in the midnight breeze. In his lap he held a handgun. Actually it was more of a hand cannon, the size of which would do Dirty Harry proud. In his left hand the old man held a single shell. At the sound of an approaching car, the old man picked up the hand cannon, flipped out the chamber and carefully placed the shell in one of the cylinders.  With a flourish he spun the chamber and with a flip of the wrist, he snapped the weapon closed.  Which cylinder held the shell? The old man didn't know. Not his problem. As the vehicle came into range, the old man raised his weapon and aimed. Eyes closed, he squeezed the trigger. Click. Sometimes he'd rip off several in succession. Click. Click. Click. Ocasionally he'd put the weapon to his own head just for a change of pace. Still no explosion. Although he'd been out in the night aiming and firing numerous times, his weapon had yet to discharge. Oh, he'd been arrested and cited for reckless endangerment before, but the old man could not resist the lure and eventually found himself back in the same situation, loading and unloading the weapon,  taking the lives of himself and others into his hands. more

 

Heading Level 3

 

AU's List of Commitments (Thanks to Prowler for his Grillz Rankings)

 

QB
Raymond Cotton QB  6-4 216 4.7 Fort Meade, MD

(4 Grillz)

RB
Rodney Scott RB  5-9 185 4.4 Cross City, FL

(5 Grillz)

WR
Brandon  Heavens ATH  5-10 165 4.43 Bessemer, AL

(4 Grillz)
LaDarius Perkins ATH   5-9 180 4.4 Greenville, MS

(3.5 Grillz)
LaVoyd James ATH 5-10 180 4.4 Williamson, AL

(3.5 Grillz)

TE
Philip Lutzenkirchen TE  6-4 245 4.73 Marietta, GA

(4 Grillz)

OL
Andre Harris OL  6-4 327 5.35 Hampton, GA

(3.5 Grillz)

 

OT
Aaron Moore 6'5 260 4.85 Bench 365 Squat 490 Centennial HS, Frisco, TX. (2 Grillz)


DE
Wilfred Journet DE   6-3 247 4.65 Wesson, MS

(4.5 Grillz)

DT
Nick Fairley DT   6-4 295 4.89 Wesson, MS

(4 Grillz)
Jamontay Pilson DT  6-3 265 4.9 Greenville, AL

(4 Grillz)
Terrence Coleman DT  6-1 244 4.8 Mobile, AL

(3.5 Grillz)

LB
Eltoro Freeman LB   5-11 218 4.5 Perkinston, MS

(5 Grillz...Possibly a 6th and a Pimp Cup)
Jonathan Evans LB  6-0 205 4.5 Prichard, AL

(3 Grillz)
Harris Gaston LB  6-2 210 4.6 Bessemer, AL

(3 Grillz)

DB
Travante Stallworth ATH   5-10 180 4.4 Leesville, LA

(3 Grillz)

 

 

Congratulations to the Auburn players drafted in the 2008 NFL Draft.

 

Quentin Groves DE 2 21(52) Jacksonville
Patrick Lee CB 2 29(60) Green Bay
Pat Sims DT 3 14(77) Cincinnati
Jonathan Wilhite CB 4 30(129) New England
King Dunlap OT 7 23(230) Philadelphia

 

Incidently Alabama had 0 players drafted...Oh yeah and Shaun Alexander was released by the Seahawks.

 

 

Heading Level 3

 

...Saniflush

 

What I learned in Boston

During a recent trip to Boston I kept having the reoccurring thought that “I could never live here”.  After having this thought countless times over the weekend I began to wonder on the flight back to God’s country, exactly what had brought me to this harsh conclusion?  What I realized is that I had a list of things that if your desire is to live in or around Boston that you should/should not do.

1.   If you walk into your hotel the afternoon of your arrival and find a line to check in, you SHOULD NOT ask the Guido standing in the back of it if “he is in line to check in or if he is guarding the luggage” that he is as equally close to.  You more than likely will get a “f*ck you”.  Apparently Guido’s in Boston have no sense of humor.  (they also apparently don’t know what soap is)

2.   Once you have checked into your room and settled in you SHOULD NOT mix a bourbon drink and walk down the sidewalk with it.  The local popo seem to have a bug in their collective asses about open containers.  Of course they seem to have no problem with all the beggars on the street hassling people who are walking by.

3.   When drinking at an establishment with others you SHOULD NOT allow anyone to slip on the wet floor while getting up to go to the bathroom.  If they have no choice but to slip they SHOULD NOT  do it while the bartender is watching because instead of getting the wet floor cleaned up they will cut you off under the pretense of you being drunk.

3a.   If said person in your party has been cut off you SHOULD NOT take it upon yourself to buy said person a drink after the bartenders tell you that if they see    them drink any of it you will be told to leave.

3b.   When said person in your party has been seen drinking someone else’s drink by    the bartender and your party is asked to leave all under the guise of your party    being drunk, you SHOULD follow them down the steps out onto the street as loudly as possible ensuring that the other patrons know what happened.

3c.   If you are the bartender/bouncer who has done this, you SHOULD realize that    once said party is on the street/sidewalk outside the establishment you have no legal right to hassle them and calling the cops will only make everyone in the bar    realize that you are a dumbass who kicked out mostly sober people because of you inability to keep a clean dry floor.

3d. If you are the party who has been kicked out you SHOULD take 30 to 45 minutes out of your evening warning all other people who are about to enter that    establishment what has happened.  If you are the bartender/bouncer you    SHOULD NOT try to forcefully remove said party from the sidewalk while the    popo is watching.  This will result in said party being asked if they want to “file assault charges”?

4.   At the end of the evening you SHOULD walk by said bar on the way home and hang the bird at all bartending staff for at least 5 minutes.

5.   When you awaken the following morning you SHOULD NOT plan on eating breakfast in the hotel.  You will end up paying $40.00 and not even get any biscuits and gravy.  Go for the Duncan Doughnuts a block away.  (in Boston you are never more than a block away from a Duncan Doughnuts)

6.   If you are looking for really hot women in Boston you SHOULD NOT.

7.   If you are a native Bostonian and you have made fun of a visitor from the Southern area of the country you SHOULD NOT  let that same Southerner see you passed out in the men’s room and not expect to later wake up smelling of puke and urine.  (your puke – my urine)  That’s right jackass.  We don’t got no indoor plumbing in the South.  That’s why I didn’t know to hit the toilet instead of your metro-sexual pants and shirt. On a side note…If your shirt is not tucked in it is just a f*cking blouse.

8.   Just because some folks from Boston were the ones who chunked the king’s tea into the harbor, a Bostonian SHOULD NOT think that this great country was created solely by people from that area.  Southerners have been at the forefront of every fight for rights this country has ever been involved in.  We love to fight.  It’s in our blood and heritage.  Always remember that Southerners had been growing corn a number of years before the pilgrims made it across the pond.

9.   In regards to sports, Bostonians SHOULD realize that when people talk badly about whatever professional sport they are currently obsessing over it’s not jealousy.  We really just don’t care.  If it’s not college football, it doesn’t count.  Game over.

 

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